How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
