you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
