I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
