i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
