She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
