Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We need to get me chipped asap
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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