shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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