did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
