I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
