i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
