If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
