Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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