im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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