How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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