Where is the hickey?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i came on her dog
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
