Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
