plz talk dirty to me
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
