Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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