Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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