it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
