His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
