the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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