Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I think I sprained my soul last night
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
