i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
