I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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