Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
