I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
They have beer where we have blood.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
