then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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