I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Are my feet made of real feet?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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