so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
