He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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