hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You can't just leave with hair like that
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
