I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
