It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
