Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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