I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
