Got a toothbrush?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Even my vagina gasped.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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