So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
