I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
