I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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