I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
