Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
