Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
