ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
