I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
