why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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