Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
How does one acquire holy water?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
