The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
