If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
