apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
