i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize