He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize