its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
