Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
