Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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