do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
