My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
