just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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