Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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