there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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