everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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