If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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