She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
