My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just want to make out with him forever
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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