Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
