i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
