Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
