she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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