Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
