I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
