How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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