you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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