handjob tips. give me some.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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