The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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