So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
