Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
