I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
