I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I intend to get homeless drunk
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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