I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
