Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
